Just Keep Going

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
-- Norman Cousins

Thursday, October 02, 2008

FOR YOU

You wrote to me and now I am going to write to you. I know I can not write the way you do but maybe you could take it for what it means instead of how well I write it.
When I first met you I thought you were smart and funny and I liked you a lot but you scared me. Intimidating is the word I should probably use. You know so much about everything and you are always teaching people. I think that's why it is so easy for people to love you. Not just because your smart but because you care about people and treat them right.
Now I know you better than I have ever know any body else and I know that your even better than I thought at first. Your stronger than I ever knew a person could be. I love you so much. You gave me everything I wanted and I didn't think that was possible.
I am still scared though because I think you will give up now. You were doing so good I cannot believe that anything a doctor could say would make you stop trying to get better. Why wont you tell me what he said? You are sleeping right now and I know Robbie gave you pills. I am so afraid that you will just want to stay that way. I want you to get up and be happy again. I want you to laugh and cook big dinners and write in your blog again.
Please do it for me and Amber and J. We are the ones who should matter to you. Please because I love you.

HB

6 comments:

YNAGER '65 said...

{{{HUGS}}} for both of you

Lemuel said...

Oh, HB! How my heart breaks for you!

Firethorne said...

Damn - my dog dies and now this . . .

When I'm King, none of us will ever have days like these, fears for our loves, our safety and security, or anything else that takes the glow off or the smile away.

Until then - HB... Bigg... You'll be okay.

Everything, everything is temporary. This life. Our heartbreaks. Our pain. Our joys and even, as difficult as it is to believe, our loves. It all passes away or evolves into something else. Unfortunately, God seems to have forgotten the gene that should make our hearts use to this daily lesson. Bigg, I know you have a handle on that concept but the universe eases our young folks into it.

You are both on my mind and in my heart.

Firethorne

Jessica Gottlieb said...

HB, you are life, love and joy all in one.

I think you'll do it.

ravn said...

I just want to give u a song..kopy the link...

On days like these
When the rain won't fall
And the sky is so dry that even birds can't call
I can feel your tears desappearing in the air
Carried on the breeze
On days like these

It's years like these
That make a young man old
Bend his back against the promises that life should hold
They make him wise
They can drive him to his knees
Nothing comes for free
On days like these

But you can't reap what you don't sow
And you can't plant in fallow ground
So let us fill this empty earth with hope
Until the rains come down

In lives like these
Where every moment counts
I add up all the things that I can live without
When the one thing left is the blessing of my dreams
I can make my peace
With days like these

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwQruV2PGG0

butterflies said...

Hi HB..I feel for you so much as Ive been in your position.
Can I make a suggestion? Acceptance is a huge part of love..If you accept each day as it comes and be happy for what you have right NOW.
Cancer makes me so fucking angry too.Im still angry 18mths after losing my husband(at 53).Not at him for leaving me as he had no choice,but at cancer.
Continue as you are with Bigg,loving him every second...whether hes in bed sleeping or in the house taking care of business...
love never dies.
(sorry for going on)